Advice: I’m Not Ready Yet

Question: So there are a couple things I need help on, all revolving around this guy named Luke. He’s a freshman. I’m 12 and I’m in seventh grade. I’ve had another freshman boyfriend, but not at all like Luke. Luke has done more than just kissing. Second base, not all the way, if you know what I mean.

So I was talking to him, and he said he wanted me to be his first; the farthest I’ve ever gone was kissing. I’m not ready, and he knows that. I am so confused about that. He said he’d be a total ass if he made me. He knows exactly how I feel because I guess he has friends that this has happened to.

I didn’t know if I trusted him so I made a fake account on a website. He told this “girl” (who was actually me) he was in a relationship and he had a feeling they were going to end soon and he hasn’t talked to “her” in three weeks.

I like him a lot.

Sarah, 12

Answer: Hi Sarah,

Thanks for your question.

I usually have to think very hard about what I’m going to say when I give my advice, but I knew instantly when I read your question what to tell you. It seems that this guy Luke is only after sex. You are 12 and, as you say, are not ready to have sex or even go beyond kissing, so you should make it very clear to him that you are not going to be doing anything with him sexually. I know you like him a lot, but if you have sex with him just because you want him to like you or not leave you, then you will regret it. If he really likes you then he will respect you decision. However, I have a feeling that when you tell him you will not have sex with him, he will find someone else who will. Further evidence of this is when you created a fake profile on the website and his response was to act shady about your relationship just to hook up with another girl. But don’t be too sad if what I’m saying happens, because I’m sure you’d rather be with someone who likes you enough to wait until you’re older and ready to take such a big step. You need to find someone who respects you as much as you respect yourself.

Good luck!

Pamela

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